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Thursday, December 15th, 2005
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I'm bored so i'm writing this. A couple of days ago the weather was very cold here in the green dessert. Let me try to describe to...to...to whoever the fuck reads these damn things; ahem. The sky glows a brilliant baby blue, large patches of clouds hand overhead blocking some of the suns gentle rays. The wind is sharp and fast, almost like it is angry, but i know it well enough to know that its just having fun trying to freeze anything that gets wet. But the most intrigueing part of below my feet. In the back yard the sprinkler went off, it did in the front too i would imagine, but when i step out back i discover something peculier. Each and every individual blade of grass is incased in a thick layer of ice! Not clumped together in blocks of ice, but seperate; each grass blade its own frozen masterpiece of icy art! It was incredible! To think such beauty and wonder could be found so close...truely remarkable. But all things must come to an end. Choosing life over beauty i walked all over the mini ice stalagmites and crushed the cases of ice and freeing the grass so that it may breathe once more. Somehow or another i managed to do so w/o ripping apart any grass.
A few nights ago i stepped outside late at night and listened to the world. The air was cool and comfortable, the wind was still w/ only gentle breezes every so often. All was silent, not even did i hear the movements of the nocturnal creatures. Bugs, birds, vermin, dogs...all quiet. Even the highway offered no noise. And to top it off the moon cast down a marvelous gleam of light upon the ground before me. I knew her place is no longer beside me but i wished Myra had been there to see it, i believe she would have liked it. I quickly dismissed the thought thinking shes probably having a great time w/ Ashley, and hoping she is succeeding where i had failed: to make Myra happy, and to give a decent massage.
Since the hour draws near 2 in the morn i shall bid farewell now, its off to bed for me. Whether i will find sleep quickly or at all i do not know...
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
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Aye yi yi...lifes been a bitch latley lol! English and history class has been handing my ass to me on a silver platter. As for my computer courses the only thing that shakes me a bit are the exams. Then theres work: zip hours. I can barely afford gas. *smiles* And to top it all off when Myra came down to visit me she dumped me. I can understand i guess but its just that i wanted to....oh it doesn't matter anymore i guess seeing how she doesn't love me anymore. And in the past days since her departure i've come to realize things about myself, well one thing at least. I dont want to say it out in the open to everyone, but i will say that this recent discovery causes me great pain and sorrow. Depending on how you look at it though its good or bad: to someone who doesn't know the whole story it is truely great and wonderful; but to one who knows the whole story, like me, it is something that should be forgotten...no matter how desperately i want to show it and just shout it out. Its tearing me apart limb from limb, which y i wish i had luck w/ women, so that i'd have someone to distract me from the pain.
Still, i want Myra to be happy. And if her happiness comes as a sacrifice of sorts for me, then so be it. I'm glad that shes found someone else. But i'd be lying if i said that i'm not jealous or in pain. My rival, i hope u realize just what it is that u have, i deeply envy u. Still, i hold no hostilities. To wish to fight recklessly is utter stupidity. Well, i guess i'll wrap things up by explaining the three forks mentioned in my subtitle.
Route 1: I can try to forget and bottle up my emotions for Myra and move on. Seeking another woman to date and etc.
Route 2: Go solo throughout life, fearing love. Taking into account that my first girlfriend cheated on me the whole time we were together; and that my second girlfriend dumped me for...someone else.
Route 3: Stupidly cling to my hope and dream to get back together w/ Myra and someday marry her.
Though to be honest, i seriously doubt that Route 3 will happen, she has a new love that she can see everyday and likes a whole lot. *weak laugh* And just as i feared and tried to tell Myra, she will forget about me. Still, i should try to be thankful for what i have or had....
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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People of The World speech [SHORT (bar scene)]
"Well being a dick ain't so bad. See there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks jst wanna fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want to do is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck assholes you'd know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!"
[LONG/FULL (show/stage scene)]
"Oh no, we aren't. We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, assholes who just wanna shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick...with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much. Or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world...but I know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies...all covered in shit."
Blowjob 'Cock-pact' speech (show/stage aftermath scene)
"Let me explain to you the kind of person Gary is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that cock right in his mouth."
America Fuck Yeah! lyrics
America...America... America! FUCK YEAH! Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah. America! FUCK YEAH! Freedom is the only way, yeah. Terrorists, your game is through...'cause now you have to answer to: ... America! FUCK YEAH! So lick my butt and suck on my balls. America! FUCK YEAH! What you gonna do when we come for you now? It's the dream that we all share. Its' the hope for tomorrow. Fuck yeah! McDonald's, FUCK YEAH! Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH! The Gap, FUCK YEAH! Baseball, FUCK YEAH! NFL, FUCK YEAH! Rock 'n' roll, FUCK YEAH! The Internet, FUCK YEAH! Slavery, FUCK YEAH! ...FUCK YEAH!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, November 18th, 2005
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I saw the funniest thing yesterday. I was watching my pets romp outside when my black dog Stormy went off into the woods. I called her back cuz her long fur makes it easy for her to get stuck. When she returned she had a stick with some leaves on it stuck to her. My cat Vega and the two kittens Winny and Maximillian found this to be quite entertaining. I could only laugh as i watched Stormy dragging around the new cat toy; all three of them were pouncing on the stick and trying to catch it as Stormy walked along blissfully unaware of how dumb she looked right then. She kept turning around and looking at me, wondering why I was laughing so. What made the sight even more hilarious was the fact that the kittens would stop and wait for the stick and leaves to begin moving again before trying to catch it again. At that moment I remembered how Myra said she might bring and camcorder when she comes down to see me next week (*jumps for joy*) and wished that she was there to film to whole thing. Speak of the devil, Vega has jumped into my lap. I swear, he is a very odd cat. For instance, he takes naps in my shower and in this little tiny box that barely has room enough for him to lay down. Also, if i dont close the door when I get home from college to use the bathroom, Vega will come in there and watch. I swear, he will literally come right in, sit down, and watch me! Its disgusting, especially when I'm trying to take a dump and he wants me to hold him. And now I'm sure I've grossed out or offended at least one person by typing that by let me just say this:...I DONT GIVE A FUCK LOL! It's my damn journal and I will write whatever the bloody hell I want. Well thats enough for right now. But please, POST SOME COMMENTS! lol
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, November 7th, 2005
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I've got a half hour to kill so i might as well write in here. I'm all pissed off cuz my job isn't going so well. I need to start looking around for another one, hopefully one that will let me fuckin work. I swear i'm almost spending money just so i can go to work. The price of gas is killing me. ugh! The whole drive to college thoughts of rage burned within me. I imagined what it would be like to shoot everyone that picked on me back in middle school; to just take a shotgun to their pathetic skulls and blow them to smitherins. I felt like running over my old boss cuz hes a fuckin thief; i know that bitch was stealing a huge amount from the register. He says that we barely make $1500 a night yet we were always so busy! Before him we made $2000 a night easy and thats when we're slow. And before i quit we hadn't had a slow night in months! So how were we making less? Gee i wonder. Goddamnit! I wish i could work a decent week at my new job instead of just 3 damn days. last week i only worked 2! Christ, how does that guy expect me to get by on gas w/ that short amount! AAGGHHH! I just wanna scream my lungs out. I think if it wasn't for Myra i would have lost my mind by now and gone totally insane. I just dont know what it is i've done to be screwed over in the work place. At least i have Myra to help ease to tension. Well people r starting to fill the classroom so i'll end my entry here.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 28th, 2005
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Guess i should write some more. The other day i learned a new slang term for where i live; apparently the ppl at the college call my wooded area, and i swear i'm not making this up, buttfuck egypt. I have no idea who or how it was thought up but i found it quite humerous. In other news lol, i was coming home from college the other day and i guess there was a funeral at this church close by. There were hundreds of cars parked all over the place, i was surprised that i could turn down my road and get home. I feel like i'm a bad ass in my programming class. Today was the last day we had to work on this program that was supposed to be hard, but i started and finished it before the teacher even showed up (she was over an hour late, so i just left when i was through). Lets see, what else...i have to work today, but no biggie, i dont mind the job since i'm treated fairly. I'm very eager for Thanksgiving to gets its ass here, one cuz i wouldn't mind a break from college and two myra said she and nikki would come down to see me! yay! Needless to say i miss my sweetheart very much and i'd do anything just to see her for a second. But she'll be here all that weekend! I plan to let myra and nikki use my room to sleep in; i'm gonna pull out the spare mattress and nikki can use that while myra uses my bed. I'm gonna sleep on the couch, and after giving all the blankets and covers that they want i'll use w/e is left over. And given how easily women seem to freeze, i dont think that there will be much left over lol. Suddenly i remember how we were watching tv when she was last at my house and how she fell asleep beside me lol...oh my sweet baby. Well my mind is beginning to wonder so i'll wrap it up here. Be sure to post some comments, pls!
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
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Your element is Fire: Strong, hot tempered,
powerful, and passionate. Well now lets see,
being fire you are quite strong and powerful be
it mentally, physically or both. People look up
to you greatly and often seek your protection.
You have the ability to gain many friends and
you are always one people can count on to do
what you say you will do. You are extremely
loyal, be it friends or family you'll stick up
for them and you are never willing to put them
in a position that could hurt them. You know
what roll you play in life, leader, and you
intend to let people know it. Not everyone is
capable of leadership but you certainly have
the willpower and flare to do it. You have
quite a temper if it shows itself, one that can
often lead you into trouble. Once your mind is
made up there is no changing it but no one said
that was a bad thing.
.:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
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I'm sitting in my room doing nothing at the moment. I keep looking at Myra's gift and the rest of the things i got for her family over in the shipping box. I'm quite anxious to find some tape and wrap it up tight, the box is overflowing w/ things. I'm not giving that much, but the box isn't tall enough for supply ample room for all the things i'm sending. College is going alright for me so far, i'm holding my own in my programming class, not the my other comp class. I keep thinking about my love, then again shes never gone long from my thoughts lol. *sigh* Oh how i long to see her once again, i miss her smiling face and cheerful laughter, the warmth of her skin and comforting arms. I hope she can come for a visit during thanksgiving, but i shouldn't get my hopes up too high, cuz if she cant come then my hopes will only come crashing down...so the less i build them up the less painful it will be on myself. But also, i want her to come cuz our last visit was cancelled at the last second.......it broke her heart. My poor baby cried herself to sleep she told me. I cant bear for her to have to endure another let down.
Lately i hear that her mom is getting ill, and that it can be very serious. But i believe that she is way too stubborn to just roll over and die, especially when she wont except help and kind offers to let others do small favors so she doesn't have to walk on her bad knee. Hm, yes...if Myra's mom is another like her daughter, then i know that i will take much more than pety sickness to bring her down for the count.
This may be a boring entry to some but i dont care, i just felt like writing so i am...or did. The weather has been rather strange lately. First it was quite warm and then over night it got very cold here. Now its cold in the mornings but warmer in the afternoon. lol I kinda wish Myra was here, the cold would probably make her shiver and then i'd have an excuse to hold her tight to me...lol, yes, that would be nice. Well i am not sure what else to say right now except i'm off to water my plant and carve out the exess wax in my candle, its about to drown itself.
ciao
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, October 20th, 2005
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I just got through reading the comments on some of my friends old entries' comments. lol Apparently yal get so bored at school or something cuz I come up in conversation. Even Han Solo is asking if he can bug me too. So yeah i just got home around 12:15 or so and am now just start to write (12:52). my day hasn't been much at all, just history and my english teacher just sent us home real quick for some reason i'm not sure of. Then I had to spend $73.34 on getting my oil and a few filters changed. Damn things are getting to be really expensive these days. Speaking of money i have to work today, not that i dont mind that much, i need some cash dammit. I mean, how else am i suppose to buy gas and gifts for Myra? lol My two kittens have become outside cats now; they're still small but they stay close to the house and dont venture very far at all into the surrounding wilderness....oh yeah, i forgot that yal dont have trees down there in the south lol. Yeah anyway, my kittens (Winny and Maximillion) are still little and stuffs but they are big enough to fight back a little bit and run and climb up a tree if needed. And besides, they have me to protect them from danger; i do not tolerate murder, all things have the right to live...to take anothers life is inexcusable. I have little to do to pass the time here that is productive at the moment, and i dont know what else to say for today. See you next time!
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:59 pm. |
| Mood: |  awake. |
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i just thought these were some cool pics so i'm posting them
 .bmp) 
so yeah anywho i like sonic the hedgehog, especially the old school games lol. by the way the middle pic is one i edited from the original (bottom).
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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title: I am...
I, am Stealth.
I seek, to help Thy health!
Enter, My Domain in Peace,
Ane Thou, shall live in Peace.
I, am the Silence of Night,
That keeps Thy Dreams in Flight!
Enter, My Domain in War,
And Thou, shall become No More!
I, am the Darkness of Space,
That keeps Thy Body and Soul in place!
Enter, My Domain in Disease,
And I, will take Care of Thou with Ease!
I, am All of These,
Enter My Domain, if Thou please!
oh, for those who r short heres a good insult to use:
YOU: "How tall are you?"
BULLY: "(says how tall he/she is)"
YOU: "(their height) i didn't know they stacked shit that high!"
ex"Five foot nine, i didn't kno they stacked shit that high!"
from Sonic Adventure games:
title: Chaos Emerald Encantation
"The servers are the seven chaos. Chaos is power, power is enriched by the heart! The user is the one who unifies the chaos."
well w/e, think what u will. i'm done for right now. hit me back.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
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11:36 pm
as i write this i dont know what to say except i cant promise constant entries. my life can be dull and routine at times lol. but then again its very interesting. i'm in love w/ a beautiful woman and i'm in college. i want to be a computer programmer, someone who can fix comps when they break down. i'm learning a lot and its fun, not to mention quite interesting. for instance, did u know that its the low level viruses u should worry about? sure high level viruses can do major damage, but low levels r so small that they r undetectable for the most part. they infiltrate on ur comps format level and replicate itself to completely fill ur harddrive to the point that u cant open up or access anything at all! isn't that amazing? something so little can do so much. ummmmm...lets see what else. well i'm hungry lol. i wish i had some snacks or something, i got the munchies dammit. well i'll wrap it up here for tonight. cya!
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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raptor_x's journal
i dont know how i feel.
remebering moments with Myra.
amused.
bitchy.
a little.